The Magic of Saying No
When was the last time you said no?
In this week’s episode, we explore why saying no can be so difficult – and how “no” can positively impact our lives.
“One side of the aisle is like, ‘Every opportunity, you just gotta bite your teeth into it.’ And the other side is like Warren Buffet who goes, ‘Well, the only thing that’s made me successful in life was saying no to 99% of people and things.’ So who do we listen to?” – Brenden
We also talk about why most of us default to saying no, and the fascinating sociological principles behind “yes.”
“Our brains are still wired for survival. So what is the best way to survive, to cooperate, to live up to the expectations of other people to listen? What other people tell you to do, whether you agree with it or not.” – Brenden
As we analyze why it’s so difficult to say no and the art of declining, we also talk about an important framework to help chronic “yes”-ers unlock the magic of “no”:
- Practice saying no. Start out small – decline invitations to events you’re not interested in, turn down dates with people you don’t care about. If you can’t say no to small things, you won’t be able to say no to bigger – and more important – things.
- Figure out the things you absolutely must achieve in life. By focusing our energy and resources exclusively on our most fulfilling goals, it’ll become easier (and more rewarding) to say no.
- Realize that “no” is freeing. When we reject opportunities we aren’t interested in, we give ourselves permission to pursue what we do want.
“It’s okay to say no, it’s okay that you don’t do that so that you can do something else that will serve your greater mission.” – Billy
In This Episode
- Why is it so hard to say no? (03:52)
- Followship as a cornerstone of leadership (07:43)
- Brendan’s framework for saying no (9:10)
- Warren Buffet’s bucket list trick (10:32)
- The importance of auditing ourselves (13:00)
- The art of saying no (13:59)
- Jeff Bezos’ regret minimization framework (18:09)
- How to know when it’s time to narrow your focus (24:53)
- Three practical things to remember about saying no (32:23)
Resources & Links